blog vs fb

I'm not blogging because Facebook won. It appealed to my short attention span and my inherited ADHD. Oh look, a shiny new thing! Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, not blogging because I've given into Facebook. It appealed to my short attention span and my inherited ADHD. Oh look, a shiny new thing! Wait, where was I? Oops...time to go to work. Did I mention I haven't been blogging much anymore because of Facebook?

snip cut style

Sunday night I spent the last hour sobbing (uncontrollably, of course) about life and career and how I fit into this world. Fears rushed up in me and grabbed my heart and I couldn't breathe, accept for those gasps that make you feel like you'll never breathe again. Every so often I have those moments and they're gone before they even start. When its over, I realize how much I needed that gut-wrenching (ouch!) sob to get me through to the stuff that's real so I can begin to deal with whatever issue brought me to that point in the first place. I feel exhausted but rejuvenated. Drained, but energized. Defeated but driven. Its all for a good cause in the end - sustaining my sanity. It's a good thing (said with my best Martha Stewart voice).

These "breakdowns" are like getting a new haircut. I go to the hairdresser with the unwashed hair (hey, they're going to do it there anyway), a cut that hasn't grown out very well, pulled up in a ponytail for the last two months, and bangs too long I can't see. Then I sit in that chair and Adam (my hair savior) snips and cuts and combs the locks and at the end, I look like a new woman. And it's that new woman that feels rejuvenated, driven, and energized to try something new that day. Am I right, ladies? That's how I felt last night: getting it all out and saying the things that I was too afraid to admit, snipping and cutting away at the emotions too long ignored.

Now it's Monday and it's all clear as mud.

Marathon training video

I said I would make one short film per week. Well, here is the first installment of a multi-part series about my attempt to run the FULL marathon in Vancouver, BC 2009.

Vancouver Marathon Training Video: Part 1 from Anna on Vimeo.

*that opening music is from Buck 65, "Way Back When."

workin' it

One very short film a week for 6 months or until I throw the camera out the window. Whatcha think? Will debut the first attempt this Monday, October 6.

And also with you

I've been downloading the Sunday sermons from Grace Cathedral in San Francisco and occasionally listening to them on my bus ride to work. This morning I realized that I've been missing the spiritual part of who I am. I've become so frustrated with that group of chrisitians who give the rest of us a bad name. You know which ones I'm talking about. I got caught up in wanting to distance myself from anything related to any christian religion. But I don't want to do that anymore. The sermon I listened to this morning was from this past Sunday, September 21. Rev. Jones spoke about feeding our spiritual souls and how we can get the bare minimum just from being out and about - its on the fringe around us. But its not enough. Perhaps there had been something out there sustaining me, but listening to the sermon this morning I finally realized how much more I needed.